Relationship Advice: What to do with the oversocial boyfriend

“Hey there I just read your article on guys in relationships and their female friends. I've been with my bf for 4 yrs now we were supposed to get married 2 yrs ago But he cheated and lied on several occasions since then. For the past yr he said he's turn a new page he's no longer the shady cheating guy. However his old tendencies tend to come out. On Valentine's day he fb messages some chic and sends her kisses and was way too friendly with her I got upset bc he's not that friendly with me I've never gotten any muahs from him but yet he's sending them out to this girl. During our recent vacation to DC we were at a bar with a couple of drinks in us, I turn around and there's my bf already being Mr oversocial with 2 chics on the bar! He has to b the center of attention if you're a girl he wants u to adore him. I asked him to delete his single female friends bc honestly I don't trust them with him and vise versa. He said its not gonna happen. So I called it off: ( any advice? Thank You”

J78

Dear J78,

Starting where you finished, my initial suggestion is that you stay cut off and you do your best to remain cut off. You made it clear that you don’t trust him and quite frankly any kind of relationship with this person is destined to fail because there is no trust.

Moving forward, I suggest that you take an honest inventory of your feelings within and find those things that you still possess that you have acquired from being in this relationship. I’m talking about things like lack of trust in guys; no trust of female friends; resentment; etc. While you have cut him off, these things – assuming you have some things – will remain and you can potentially bring them with you into a new relationship which cannot be good. I almost always suggest that after one gets out of a serious relationship, one spends a considerable amount of time out of a relationship to clean house, reset and put one’s self in a position to be ready for another try at this whole business of love thing.

If you decide to stay with person, I suggest that you communicate the fact that you do not trust him. I would also make it clear to this person how the FB messages and the "over social" behavior makes you feel. I'm not exactly a fan of one asking another to make people disappear but if that's your thing, I suggest you make it clear as to why you want these people to disappear and how their presence makes you feel.

Be careful. Again, you have made it clear that you do not trust him. If you decide to continue to be with him without trust, then you are potentially going to become a relationship watchdog and that's no way to live. At least I don't think so.

Most important, respect yourself, love yourself and don’t allow yourself to be mistreated in exchange for love from someone else. I hope this helps.


Remember. No always. No never.

ST

The Girlfriend Activation System is for men who cannot handle rejection

I watched a 30 minute video/ad on Christian Hudson's Girlfriend Activation System which dropped around 2012 and has recently been updated. I know I'm late as hell but truth told I've never needed a system to get girls so it wasn't something I was looking for. I found it on the Twitter and having read the acronym DNA, I decided to watch the ad.

The premise - if you are not familiar with GFAS - is that women are born with obsession stories built into their DNA. Women have primal desires that they hide behind socially acceptable wants and that if you learn to tap into their story - primal desires - you can score with the girl.


As proof, Hudson shows how literotica is as popular with women as porn is with men. Obvious example, you guessed it, the success of the 50 Shades series.


The video or ad really is the story of Hudson failing time and time again to attract women and finally discovering GFAS. After his discovery, Hudson bagged a German model; a Playboy model; made tons of cash selling GFAS and helped hundreds of guys bag girls worldwide.


All of this is to entice you to buy his system.


What I thought was most interesting about this whole thing was that Hudson looked outside of himself for success with women. (And in his case, success means sex and getting a girlfriend. He boasts that he landed 9 long term relationships from this system. I am very interested in his definition of "long term")


He moved to different cities; he worked for known pickup artists; he studied erotica. He created this system and used himself as a test dummy for the system. He did everything possible except accept himself for who he is.


At one point in the video - the crucial point for me - Hudson admits he's an introvert that hates rejection. Rejection. The big R.


That's the root of it all. Hudson can't handle being rejected. And instead of dealing with the simple truth of life that a lot of women will say no, Hudson embarked on a quest to find a way to circumvent a woman's no and get her cookies anyway.


I have no doubt GFAS works. Not because I believe in GFAS, but because I believe in systems. I've seen average athletes flourish in systems. I've seen mediocre salespersons make a lot of money when they use selling systems. So, I have no doubt guys are getting laid and getting girlfriends using GFAS.


I also believe that GFAS only does what it says it does, activates. The system allows a guy to get the girl in bed and in a relationship. And then he’s left to his own personality to keep them. The same personality that couldn’t bag chicks in the first place.


I would assume that these women that end up lovers and/or girlfriends as a result of GFAS are women who would have said no in the beginning. And I doubt the the system changed her. It helped to maneuver around her initial rejection. At some point, I assume, these women realize that they are sleeping with and/or dating a person that is a "no" and then the rejection begins.


That probably explains Hudson’s nine long term relationships.


I know there are millions of men in the world that have a hard time with dating. And I think that attempts to help these men are admirable and downright caring. However, I don't think the answer is in manipulating a woman's subconscious.


Needless to say, I did not buy the system. I am not in need of a girlfriend. And if I was, I still wouldn't buy the system. I have a system. It's called "No happens so deal with it."


I think the process of making dating easier begins with accepting the fact that rejection is a part of the game.


Men should be confident. A man must find confidence from within based on an honest assessment of self. Confidence should not be based on the responses to advances from women. Nor should it be based upon the number of women with whom one has or hasn't had sex.


Self-generated self-confidence is better than any system on the market.


And, it's free

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