Gay Rights is not the same as Civil Rights

I was asked by one of those people hustling for donations in downtown Chicago if I had a minute to "talk about gay rights." I said, yes and then we talked. He was not happy with his talk with me. Primarily because when he referred to gay rights as the same as civil rights, I tore him a new asshole. I support gay rights. Primarily because I don't care how people love or how they live and I believe it's America, dammit, and people should have the right to pursue happiness how they please as long as it doesn't impede on other people's freedom to pursue happiness. That said, I support gay rights. But gays need to know that one of those rights is NOT comparing their struggle to the struggle of Blacks in America.

For one, gays have the option of the closet. I have never "come out" as Black and yet everyone seems to know that I am a Black man. As a person who has faced prejudice many times, I can tell you I wish that on job interviews, loan interviews, and court hearings I could put my "Black" in the closet and proceed with that information hidden. It's not an option for me. Nor is it an option for women, the elderly, the disabled or little people.

What gay rights have done is exposed that there is a hierarchy to discrimination and while all of it has the potential for evil, there are several levels. When I think of gay rights, I feel like the fight has more in common with getting insurance with a pre-existing condition than civil rights. Still a tough fight which I support but not the same.

It's an unfortunate reality that the struggle of ex-slaves in this country has become to the go to comparison for anyone trying to get rights in this country. As Ray Bradbury predicted in Fahrenheit 451, the world is becoming full of minorities all trying to get special treatment while being treated like everyone else and all of them are using Civil Rights as the standard. It's wrong and needs to stop. I doubt it ever will stop but to use a classic Civil Rights statement, I can "keep hope alive."

Taking Sex Is So Not Cool

This morning I watched a report on Sportscenter about ex-NFL player Darren Sharper turning himself in for sexual assault. He also has 7 charges in Los Angeles and is currently under investigation in three other states. I have absolutely no facts in these cases so I can say nothing about Darren Sharper. However, the report itself makes me thinking about the whole idea of drugging women and then having one's way with them sexually after they have passed out and the whole thing is disgusting.

I don't get it. Maybe it's the Oakland player in me but to me there is nothing cool about the idea. I mean, what is to be gained? Do you beat the "p" up only for her to wake up and have no idea that anything happened. I'm more like the Al Pacino's character in the Devil's Advocate. I want her to get out of bed unable to walk straight look back and realize I did that to her.

I'm so confused by the behavior. Part of me wants to talk to someone that has does it and/or has done it to try to experience the logic but I'm sure that I would get so upset that I would end up beating the dogshit out of this person.

There's a song called Date Rape by Sublime and the writer of the song said that the inspiration for the song came from a guy they met in a bar that said, "Date rape isn't so bad; if it wasn't for date rape I'd never get laid." (If you have never heard the song, it is not pro-date rape. The song ends with the victimizer being sent to prison and being humiliatingly anally raped by a larger inmate.) But the fact that the guy vocalize that, out loud, in public means that there are people out there who really believe that this is the way to go about having sex.

Truth told it would be better to never experience sex then to go about getting as a result of rape.

I saw a convict on Lockup say "there's no cure for rapers and baby touchers" and I believe him. They all need the death penalty and if Darren Sharper is guilty of rape, I hope he gets the chair or at least life.

Where's My Representative?

I hate voting. Not because I don't believe in the process. On contrary, I believe that the people are America and the vote is the greatest thing we have. However, I hate voting because there is never a representative worth the vote. Maybe I have the definition of representative wrong. But I always think of a representative who represents me. And the last time I checked not one party had a "do what's best for America no matter what I believe" candidate nor a "I don't have a position, I vote based on your position" candidate.

The way the system works is that glory seekers pontificate endlessly on what they believe in - depending on where they are and who they are talking to - and we the people are forced to support the one that closest matches our own beliefs. Worst, we are confined to parties that have an all or none menu of beliefs as if a person can't be pro-choice and anti-amnesty. Like a person can't love God and hate affirmative action. It's just idiotic to think that 300 million people with the ability to formulate original thought can be herded into six parties four of which can't generate enough money to even have their name remembered by the majority of voters.

Things may change one day. I hope. Til then I'll continue to vote. And hate it.

Where is the Thank You?

On a daily basis I am asked for directions. Whether it's where is the bathroom or where is luggage or on the street where is Michigan Ave. and like 8 out of 10 times after giving the directions, the person walks away consumed in thought about where they need to go.

Where is the Thank You?

Am I supposed to give directions? Is it my civil duty to help a person that is lost find their way? Would it not be okay, knowing damn well where the desired location is, to be like "I don't know" and let this person stay lost until someone else comes around to help? I don't know.

But what I do know is that it pisses me off something fierce when I stop what I'm doing to tell someone else how to find their way to receive nothing in return. I almost always want to yell, "I didn't have to help you." Sometimes I do yell, "you're welcome." I know it's rude and fighting rude with rude is rude but whatever.

If I tell someone where something is I should be thanked. At least I think so.

The N-Word

I use the N-Word all the time. And to be clear, I am talking about the word nigger. Although when it comes out of my mouth, most of the time it sounds like nigga ala N.W.A; niggah ala Mark Twain; or nicca ala my homeboy K.P. Either way, it comes out of my mouth and I have no intentions of ever stopping my usage of the word.

I'm full aware of what the tragedy and horrific history associated with the word. And I'm familiar with the racism and the dynamics of the word. And yet, my awareness has nothing to do with my usage but at the end of the day, I am aware of one thing. Words do not have meaning. Meaning has meaning. And any word in the English language can be used for love or hate based on the intent.

All history and pain aside, the n-word is a delicious word to say. It dances in the mouth of all who speak it. There are hundreds of derogatory words but have stood the test of time like the n-word because the god's honest truth is that it is a wonderful word.

It's structure alone is a thing of beauty. It begin with a hard "N" followed by a short "I" which is then followed by a double "G" (let me digress here and say that the double "G" is god's gift to English. From the juggle to waggle to huggies the double "G" reigns supreme) which is then followed by the strong syllable "-er" The combination of these sounds make for a wonderful word. And all words with the similar structure have the same appeal. Trigger, tigger, bigger, digger, etc.

The initial structure is so strong that even by substituting the "-er" with an "A" one still gets a good damn word. Ask Jigga or JT the Bigga Figga.

The n-word is a powerful word. Not because of the meaning but because of the sound it produces. It's strong and forceful and conveys intent beautifully. Which is why when a man full of hate says, "you nigger" you feel the hate and when a man full of love says "that's my nigger" you feel the love. When a person says "I'm a real nigger" you believe it. And when a person says, "I ain't no nigger" you stop calling him one. It's a powerful word.

It's unfortunate that such a great word has been attached to such horrific crimes against humanity and is still associated with such useless hatred. But I cannot and will not be responsible for the way in which other people use the English language. I can only be responsible for how I use the English language and when I use the n-word, it's rarely with the intent of hate.

I like the word. I like the word a lot. And I have no intention of ever abandoning the word. I know what it means to most but I know what it means to me. And that's all that matters. Nicca!

Saying 4

"When you face an obstacle you are slowly rising to success."