I am a gumbo of emotions and it's almost too much to deal with. In fact, it is too much to deal with and since I don't have a legit off day until October 2nd, I am not dealing at all. I have too much work to do.
I am overjoyed with the show and the process and I am mentally consumed with that. I went to bed with running order on the mind and I awoke with running order on the mind. I saw a show last night and while there saw a couple directors in the biz which reminded me of my running order.
I caught an eye. A wink. A potential invitation for a hello and I walked away.
The last thing she said to me before she left was "you're a bad person. Stay out of people's lives." and ever since then, that statement has run on repeat in my mind. "Stay out of people's lives." It's a thing.
I have internalized this statement. I have come to believe that I AM a bad person and I have resolved to do good things. And one of those good things is staying out of people's lives. I am already taking Too Short's advice and I have stopped trying to fuck. Literally and figuratively. I don't pop like I used to. Hell, I don't pop at all. Like what would be the point? A hello or a hey how ya do or a want to hang out some time can only lead to the door that opens up to a life in which I am determined to stay out of. So, no.
I think I am stress eating which is good cause I never eat. I want to eat healthier cause that's a thing but for now I am just happy that I am eating. I stepped on a scale yesterday and I am not where I thought I was. I scaling is a weird habit and I don't do it often but I did yesterday.
I found a place with adult open gym gymnastics and I am extremely excited about this find. I don't have the time now but when things slow up, I am going to start going. I did a back flip the other day and the landing was bad. I landed like spider man style and it was far from a stick. I want to be able to stick the landing. I want to be confident. I want to be able to do one anywhere and everywhere and it be tight.
I just want things to be cool. And it seems that the uncool keeps happening. I am so bummed by the level of uncool that I am dealing with right now and I don't even know if I am dealing with it properly because I legit don't have the brain space. I can think about is running order.
And rehearsal tomorrow.
And rehearsal Thursday.
And the show Friday.
I had a meeting with a producer yesterday and she said, "you have declared your intentions and now there is no need to continue declaring" and while it made perfect sense and I got all of it, I wondered, "is that a thing?"
Are there those who continue to declare their intentions. Obviously there must be otherwise I wouldn't have gotten the pro-tip. And as I am writing I am thinking of my homeboy who the for the last 20 years has told me consistently about his plan to take over the world. So, yes, I guess these people do exist.
I have no intention of being a sayer, I intend to be a doer. And I just said that so I guess I don't need to say it again.
That's what this is and that's what I have to remind myself every time I open this thing to write in it. That this is a web log. Like the captain's log on Star Trek only I don't meet crazy aliens in deep space nor do I have invaders on my ship.
I have children who need braces and graphing calculators and I have friends who live outta town and want to know why I chose Twitter as my only social media and I have new friends in the directing program and I have a neighbor who believes the Russians are after him and I have things that dance in my head and one of those things is the idea that "no one gives a damn about your life so why are you keeping a log?"
I honestly don't know. I like to write. I like to tell stories. I like word play. And I like the idea that thousands of years from now long after I am gone and my remains are dust that this, this web log, might still exist. This may be the only thing I leave behind that could stand the test of time.
There seems to be this obsession with brand. I even had someone tell me that everything is brand. And I just don't know if I get down with that idea. I mean, I am not in the business of selling myself. I don't have a product. I guess one could argue that I am my product since I act, write, direct, tell jokes on occasion and make music. But I don't do these things to promote a brand. I do them because I enjoy doing them and I'm good at them.
I guess my reservation about brand and branding is that people seem more concerned about "the brand" and promoting the "brand" than quality. I see it all the time in my world. The theaters of the improv world are literally littered with fliers for shows that are ten times better than the show. It is clear that so much more attention was put into promoting the thing than the thing. This to me is the downside of brand culture.
My buddy just suggested I "curate" my Instagram. Why? "It's better for your brand." I get it but I don't, really. Or maybe it's just not for me. For me, I just want to be Seth. The dude who does dope shit consistently. Maybe that's my brand.
My random Dixie Chicks googling lead me to a link for the compilation entitled The Essential Dixie Chicks album. I did not buy this album as there is no need to buy a greatest hits collection when one owns every album - including the three without Natalie. So, I was shocked when I saw the track list and realized five essential songs were missing from this "essential" list.
I will assume that Natalie, Martie and Emily made this list and they would know what's more essential than I. However, as a diehard fan, I cannot look at this track list and not wonder why these five songs are not there. So here are the five essential songs that I think should be on The Essential Dixie Chicks album.
Thin Line - which is a bonus track on Taking The Long Way - is in my opinion one of the best songs on the album. The groove is fantastic and the lyrics are right on. "Some days rock and some days roll and some seem to last forever Some days it's all you want and some days it's never never." That's pretty much life right there. Taking The Long Way is over represented on The Essentials - eight songs - and I think Thin Line is way better than Lubbuck or Leave It and Everybody Knows
If I Fall You're Going Down With Me
If I Fall You're Going Down With Me is my jam. Another song with a solid groove and great lyrics. The great thing about this song is the arrangement allows for all three Chicks to exploit their talents which they do fantastically. Fly has the most songs on The Essential Dixie Chicks album with nine and while all of them are good songs, I'd trade If I Fall You're Going Down With Me for Some Days You Gotta Dance.
Once You've Loved Somebody
Once You've Loved Somebody is one of the best songs ever to capture that defeated feeling after a relationship. It's the kind of song that reaches into your chest, touches your heart and strokes it gently while whispering "I totally get you right now." That's what the Dixie Chicks to best and this is one of their best examples of that ability. It is definitely an essential.
Cold Day in July
I actually had to copy The Essentials track list, paste it into Word and then print it on paper so I could use a pen and my glasses to make sure Cold Day in July was not on the album. WTF! Like seriously. W. T. F.! One of the more prominent memories I have from seeing The Dixie Chicks at the United Center back in 2000 was them performing Cold Day in July and fake snow raining down on the crowd. Sure this song is attached to a memory and that's why I think it's so amazing. However, the song is outstanding. I am willing to bet that if you asked every Dixie Chicks fan to jot down their top 30 DCX songs, Cold Day in July would make eighty-five percent of those lists.
Am I the Only One (Who's Ever Felt This Way)
Remember when I said the Dixie Chicks have the ability to reach into your chest, touch your heart and stroke it gently while whispering "I totally get you right now? Well, no song does that better than Am I the Only One (Who's Ever Felt This Way). At one point or another in our lives, we have all found ourselves sitting in dimly lit room, alone, clutching a glass of something stronger than soda, completely smothered by the emptiness screaming - internally or externally, "God help me" wondering "Am I the only one who's ever felt this way." This song is as essential as it gets and could easily replace Easy Silence, White Trash Wedding or Bitter End on the album.
There it is. The five essential Dixie Chicks songs that are not on The Essential Dixie Chicks album that I think should be on the album. Do you have a song or five that you think should be on The Essentials album that is not? Hit me up on Twitter - @usanegro - and let me know what those songs are.